The smell and taste.

The other night, Mistress gave me a wonderful gift. She allowed me the honor of removing her tampon from between her legs. Typically when she needs a tampon I am forbidden to be down there, so I was happy to assist her. This, of course, was with my teeth - so I decided that I would enjoy her by taking the entire used item into my mouth. Mistress didn't instruct this, but saw the opportunity to make me consider what I had done in full. She reached for a roll of bondage tape and wrapped my mouth so that I could not spit it out. Then, as I took in her wonderful essence, she allowed me to enter her. It felt beyond great to be inside of her as I bit down on her gift to me - the taste of her blood and sex enabled me to concentrate only on her as I worked to get her off while willingly depriving myself. After she climaxed, I was dismissed, and made to ponder the fact that she dominates my senses as well.

"Yes, Doctor."

Mistress has officially become my new doctor, and I am now under her care in all matters of sexual and reproductive health. I had my first appointment with her this weekend where I received a thorough examination. Most notably, I received a thorough two-stage prostate examination and milking. She was nice enough to make sure I was relived of most pressure built up due to lack of orgasms. I of course consumed the product of the procedure so she would not be concerned with the mess.  She also took several blood samples from my chest and genitals - as well as offered a blood sample of her own so she could mark me and test my responses.

My sexual response was tested as well, as stimulation was applied in the most clinical sense. After the diagnostics were complete, Mistress diagnosed me with Sexual Egocentricism - basically a predisposition to ignore the sexually dominant in self interest.

As an initial treatment for my problem, Mistress administered a severe cropping to condition my body's sexual response to her presence. That is, my body still needs further training so it can understand that "sexual" activity is only for her benefit.

I will now be subject to further examination and testing as she continues to work on my case. And of course, in the meantime, I am under strict Doctor's orders of absolutely no orgasms until further notice.

I am very lucky to be under the control of such a beautiful and talented Mistress. It is certainly my absolute duty to follow her directions without hesitation. I hope one day I can achieve a level of service to her that completely satisfies her.

MedFet

I have some interesting plans for slave this weekend. It revolves around some medical fetish play. Years ago, we skimmed the surface of medfet with a speculum for me, but as I've learned, I do not enjoy being the subject. I'm a very bad subject. I find absolutely no satisfaction from the lack of control. I suppose I was born to be a dom.

Anyhow, we're picking up where we left off. I see lots of lancets, blood, latex gloves, health masks, and prostate exams in the near future. I will be playing the sadistic doctor, slave will be patient #80175. We'll let you know how it goes... and if you're lucky... post some photos.

xoxo,

Mistress

Secret Decoder Ring

When slave got rid of his cell phone and moved over to a work issued blackberry, I was very dismayed that I could no longer send him dirty text messages throughout the day. A year or so later, we figured out a solution! Secret codes! We've decided to share them here:

COMMANDS:

bad day = you will be spanked, prepare for it upon arrival (spreaders, paddles, etc)

fuming = very bad day, prepare, you will be crying

bath = I will have a bath when I get home

day = you will clean the house and serve me in your day uniform tonight / today

night = w/ night uniform

heavy = w/ heavy punishment uniform

away = you will be put away in your suit while I tend to my affairs

in = insert your plug when you get home

click = put your cage on and present the key to me

hungry = you will eat me out as soon as I am home

relief = you will be my toilet today/tonight

REMINDERS:

ICU = I control you

under = how are your panties? (for when I make him wear girl panties)

no4u= no orgasm for you today

slave must always respond:

ym = Yes Mistress

xoxo,

Mistress

No fault but my own

Mistress has not allowed me to engage her sexually in the past week and prior to that we have spent a lot of time apart while traveling on business. Thus, in the past month or so our sexual activity has been at an all-time low.

I brought this point up with her last night, and she informed me that that she was fully aware our "situation" and that it was nobody's fault but mine - and the "inactivity" is quite intentional. She went on to explain that my recent lack of effort in serving her had been noted and there is no reason for me to be rewarded with sex. Moreover, sex isn't for my pleasure anyways so it is She that is being deprived and not myself.

After making her stance clear, she then bluntly informed me that I am officially cut off from sex and orgasms until further notice. She assured me that there would be plenty of that for her, though, adding that any penetration, whether it be to her or me, will be with a dildo.

Her message is loud and clear: I need to earn her favor back, and I will be punished along the way.

That means I need to get to work. I do not know what's to come other than I will surely be wearing my punishment maid uniform a lot in the coming days. 

True Chastity

It has become quite evident to me that no chastity device available on the market is both secure and practical. I own the CB-6000 and had the 3000 before. These devices are great for enhancing play and preventing orgasm in the short term while supervised, but not suited for 24/7 wear as they become uncomfortable and are easy to slip out of. Other devices out there, such as the true metal belt types or those that require piercings are probably fairly secure, but impractical to wear out of the house. One can search the resources out on the internet dedicated to chastity (such as Chastity Lifestyle) and read hundreds of postings from people asking how to make belts more secure, invisible under clothing, or less damaging to their bodies after continued wear among the myriad of other issues that exist. It seems like the brain of the submissive male wants to be controlled to such an extend that they refuse to realize the truth about these "novelty" devices - they don't work.

After playing with my chastity devices for several years now, I have realized that there is only one effective method of chastity possible - true obedience.

Mistress has stated rules before that I am not allowed to orgasm without her permission, and of course in the course of daily life they have been forgotten or broken as I am left alone at times or we lapse back into vanilla sex for a spell. However, I think it is time that I make a true commitment to her and actually follow the rules. No more solo masturbation. No more penetrative sex for my pleasure. And, to prove my submission, I must consume my mess every time I release to further reinforce that orgasms are for her pleasure and not mine.

This will take some resolve on my part, and effort on hers as well in order to keep me in line. If she agrees, though, I think it will be worth it. I will be forced to focus on her pleasure that much more, and not allowed to stray off and selfishly please myself.

In a way, solo masturbation and seeking pleasure from orgasms is cheating on the behalf of the submissive male. If his role is to please his Mistress, then it is wrong to please himself as he is denying her the spent sexual energy - and I would never cheat on her. Ever.

My only pleasure is her pleasure.

I have recently realized I have a very, very dirty fantasy. It may have always been in the back of my head but until I verbalized a version of it to Mistress, I didn't really know it. It's embarrassing to talk about (or even type about it) - but I am now confident I have a fantasy of being cuckolded.

There are several different versions and definitions of cuckolding, and most of these are not appealing to me. I certainly don't get off on the thought of Mistress forever ignoring me and having relations with multiple people. My fantasy is more in the line of being denied pleasure while mistress is fully pleasured. Thus, I enjoy being locked in chastity and chained to Mistress' boot while I worship her heels as she pleasures herself. That act alone sends me into subspace and it certainly serves as an analog of Mistress taking another lover while I worship at her feet in frustration. There are several scenarios that are appealing; serving Mistress along side of another sub of hers in the inferior position, tending to Mistress and a partner of hers as a sissy maid, or even being forced to worship Mistress while she takes another lover then made to service her orally when she is done as my only release.

Basically, I find the notion of serving Mistress while she pursues the enhancement of her own pleasure while I am denied very appealing. In essence, my only pleasure is her pleasure.

However, I think this is one fantasy that should stay firmly planted in my imagination. There are certainly several people out there, it seems, that consider cuckolding to be a natural thing. Since female dominance is a certainty in our world, the slave being kept in chastity is the natural next step, as is the slave then serving as a sissy maid. After the slave is firmly aware of his status in the Fem Domme household, cuckolding further allows the Dominant to explore sexual pleasure while the sub supports her.

While this is a very sexy notion, the baggage that potentially comes with the inclusion of other players in a Fem Domme marriage is definitely very dangerous. I would imagine that once a couple decides to pursue a cuckold arrangement they can never go back. Whether the relationship is enhanced or seriously damaged, the act can never be undone - and I am not confident that I could handle it myself.

If anything, Mistress and I can play with the theme as just the two of us. I can still worship her boots, I can remain denied while working towards her constant pleasure, and we can even talk dirty about it when we play. Sometimes fantasies are sexy because they are only fantasy.